I don’t know about you, but I often find myself looking at a man and thinking wishfully, “He would be perfect if only he had Adam’s ass.” Because you can’t hear the sarcasm in my voice, I will just come out and say that I am being facetious.
My sardonic wit is inspired by the Supreme Being Contest sponsored by RX Magazine. Those who follow my blog know that I am not exactly a supporter of RX. Because this is the second negative blog I have dedicated to them, it’s safe to assume RX is not a big fan of me either. Oh well.
Before I can discuss the Supreme Being Contest, I have to provide some background information
on RX’s so-called infamous centerfold depictions. Every month RX is on the scene looking for local women to exploit. To find them, they hold centerfold contests in various FM bars. Girls are advised to “wear a swimsuit or whatever you want.” (Memo to RX: It’s December, and this is Fargo.) The winner of the competition receives the grand prize of being featured as the centerfold for next month’s edition.
This centerfold thing truly amazes me. If a girl wants to be featured provocatively in a magazine, that’s her choice and her business. What I don’t understand is why anyone would want to affiliate themselves with the low standards of RX Magazine. In their defense, the women featured in RX’s centerfolds are probably nice looking, but we’ll never know because they are photographed so terribly. December’s centerfold is not even in focus. A centerfold not in focus? Com’ on boys, Playboy is shaking their heads at you.
RX’s Supreme Being Contest is an elaboration of their monthly centerfold –- it is also the tackiest thing Fargo has seen since Girls Gone Wild came to Playmakers. The intelligent brains at RX must have thought to themselves: Hey, let’s not just feature one girl for the centerfold, let’s feature…like …a lot of girls. Here’s where the real genius of it all comes in. With the help of digital-editing software, RX will combine the best features of five ladies to make a sole supreme being. Get it?
The contest is divided into five categories: face, chest, abs, bum (their wording, not mine) and legs. Because RX is egalitarian, there will be a similar contest for men, too – although, the article I read hardly gave that subject any press. I wonder why?
There are so many reasons not to participate in this contest that I could go on all night. Instead, I’ll just stick with the most obvious points.
I can only speak for myself, and I know that if a guy was to approach me in a bar and say, “You would be perfect if you only had Sarah’s Butt” … well, let’s just say that message would not be well-received. If you are adamant about
sexually exploiting yourself, then at the very least, you owe it to yourself to
land a favorable opportunity –- one that allows you to be the center of attention,
not a mere component. Seriously, the idea of combining multiple women to make a supreme being is so degrading that I am surprised RX has the audacity to publish the idea. Who comes up with this crap?
If the integrity argument does not inspire you to boycott the event, it is my hope that this will. Simply put, RX’s Supreme-Being concoction will likely resemble a science project gone bad.
I highly doubt anyone on RX’s payroll harbors the skills necessary to pull off a project of this caliber. My prediction is that the Supreme Being will emulate one of the subjects on Conan O’Brien’s segment "If They Mated." There will be no supreme being, only a supreme freak. Don’t subject yourself to that.
Oh my gosh! Thanks for letting me know about the Supreme Being Contest RX Magazine will be generously hosting. I have the best “bum” in the world and I really hope I get picked for the bum part. True, my face isn’t the prettiest, but how I want to see my butt on the prestigious pages of RX! Oh please, RX, pick my bum! I don’t care what other body parts you pair my bum with, as long as I can open the next issue, point to my bum and say to my friends: “Here, these are my back parts!” But I better get back to the gym, that ass ain’t that great from sitting on it!
I bet your a conservative.
For someone who doesn’t like Rx magazine you sure know a lot about it. If it bothers you so much don’t read it.
Your probably ugly and jealous.
You better go to church and get a group together to protest.
To the Icon — The reason I knew about RX’s Supreme Being contest is that I dined with my former boss this weekend, and she brought it for me to read. When I worked under her, we would often laugh at RX’s bad content, photographs, etc. It was a way to pass the time.
You have me profiled completely wrong, although thanks for trying. Based on your elementary arguing skills, I can only conclude that you are in need of education. You probably have what it takes to write for RX. Go get ‘em.
Right on sister! While I’ve never read or heard of RX magazine (it’s not about prescription drugs?) during my lifelong residence in Fargo, your comments ring true. Playmakers has truly disgusted me with their hostings of Girls Gone Wild and I have stopped going there entirely.
Does this make me a conservative, ugly, jealous churchgoer as well? Too funny.
The Icon’s comments were hilarious….. what… they weren’t sarcastic….never mind. Perhaps The Icon (icon for what, I’d like to know) should have followed his/her own advice and upon finding your blog bothersome could have just not read it. But then I wouldn’t have been able to chuckle over the asinine comment.
Yet Another Commentator – I laughed so hard when I read your comments. Thank you. Although the name is misleading, RX Magazine has nothing to do with prescription drugs. It is a free monthly magazine that is distributed at most bars. Most of the articles are syndicated, but they do cover some local stuff — all the centerfolds, for instance, are local. Your point is valid. I find it amusing that according to The Icon, the only reason a woman would not want to be a centerfold is because she is ugly, conservative and religious. It could not be because she was intelligent and had high self-esteem. And for the record, poor grad students are generally not conservative.
Centerfold Wannabe — I also found your post amusing. I am sure you have a great “bum.”
As intelligent as you seem you must be an executive in a very large corporation. If not here’s an idea. I have 60 minute timer for cooking I use for all kinds of tasks. Keeps the kids watching it rather than bugging me about hopping in the hot tub.
When my mother in law calls for my wife I set it to 5 minutes. I do the same thing when my relatives call for me. You see it takes about 4 minutes before the conversation turnes to the neighbors infidelity or drinking habbits.
We both understand a business mind is about “minding our own business”
Don’t you think you could use a timer too!
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